The Bad Parent Chronicles: Kid Does Not Equal Swiffer; Kiss Does Not Equal Eating Face

Sweet Husband:  "This means we're going to have start cleaning the floors sometimes, doesn't it?....Or we could just attach swiffer pads to his knees."

I am the mother of a mobile child....even if he only has reverse gear at present.  While we've spent months longing for this milestone, it's--justifiably, I think--petrifying for several reasons.  

The practical...we have to pick up the wine corks now, because I'm pretty sure they're choking hazards...and cover the outlets...and not leave him unattended on any elevated surface (no matter how big and how in-the-center-of-it he is) for even a nano-second.

The philosophical...where did my baby go?, seriously! thing you know he'll be in college, drinking lattes, and majoring in philosophy or some-other-such-nonsense.

But I can tell you this--he'll never kiss another girl the way he kisses his least, I hope not.  Because, although we both think his "giving kisses" is a hoot, I'm not sure anyone but a mother could truly appreciate his let's-see-how-much-of-your-cheek-I-can-get-in-my-wide-open-mouth technique.