I used to do this with the Kid--take note of all the funny/absurd things he'd say in a week and then report them here--but it has saddened me to notice that fewer of these funny little speeches come out as he gets older.
Baby sister, on the other hand, is just the right age--all of the words and none of the social filters! Hence, I give you Little Miss, in quotes.
Learning good interpersonal skills at school....
Little Miss: If I hit [friend] he will not be my best friend anymore.
A good buddy in a storm....
Little Miss: If you need to go poopy just tell me and I will take you to the potty and help you wipe.
Beating me at my own game....
Me: How are you so completely vexing and so amazing at the same time?
Little Miss: Because.
Tackling body image issues early....
Little Miss: [Friend] is very tiny.
Me: But you are mighty and strong!
Little Miss: Yes, I'm MUDDY and STRONG!
Because physics are hilarious....
Little Miss: Do you see that car? It's stuck to the ground.
Me: That's called gravity, baby.
Little Miss: GRAVITY! *Chuckle*
We set a low bar, but we do have standards....
Little Miss: I do not WANT to wear underwear for dinner.