I was walking out to the compost the other evening, through the garden, when I looked down and I saw beets--real, live, actual beets--coming out of the ground. I've planted beets for four years now, but I've not harvested a single one until this week. Either the seeds don't germinate or critters get them--no matter how hard I've tried, they just haven't worked out.
There's a lot of crazy stuff going on in Kansas right now. I have no control over most of it, and a lot of it will effect people I love. It's deepening the worry lines on my face, for sure, but...at the same time, I have beets. I am successfully growing beets.
And this is the only life I'm ever going to have.
Little Miss is teething. The Kid is terrified of putting his head underwater. I may not get a paycheck next week. And that's just the stuff I can talk about.
But, on the other hand, my husband is the best, most supportive man in the whole wide world. The Kid is learning how to buckle himself into the car. My baby sister is going to get to see Paris for the first time next week, and my daughter has the most beautiful eyes.
This is the only life I'm every going to have, and, even better, I get to decide how to spend it.
It's always going to be about sixty percent complete mess.
But, even amidst the mess, I'm growing beets and making kimchi.
And I get to snuggle Little Miss to sleep and listen to the Kid tell stories and work hard for the things I care about.
And even when I'm tired--so, so tired--of the struggle-y parts, the privilege of being able to spend my days doing those things--those things that are my life, not just obstacles and adornments to my life--is a most encouraging thing to think about.