Or maybe they should be called "Hats For Yarn Whores With Expensive Taste". Because that's me these days. I'm a yarn snob.
Don't worry, I won't judge you for your acrylic--to each her own and all that--but for myself, there's nothing to beat the feel of a skein of baby alpaca, or a hank of hand-spun merino with just a touch of silk mixed in. Nothing.
After some other projects, I was left with about 30 yards each of these gorgeous, chunky yarns. (They are Malabrigo Rasta and Gruesa, respectively.) Not enough to do much, but enough to make a hat if that hat is going on a small head.
And with the chunky yarn, they only took an hour apiece. (You can ask my knitting group. They were there from cast-on to cast-off.) They're very plain, but really, when the yarn is this fabulous, it doesn't need feats of knitting acrobatics. (Full yarn and pattern details here for the knitters in the house.) Although they just barely fit the small cousins for which they were intended (one is six months old and one is just a bit over a year), I think they'll get a little use at least, so I'm calling it a "zone of victory" win.