The Bad Parent Chronicles: For Just One Good Night's Sleep*

We seem to be very consistently back on the newborn sleep plan this week.  It's become so regular that I almost don't have to look at the clock.  (Two, four, six, eight....we do not appreciate.)  There are a multitude of possible reasons--we started a new daycare this week, growth spurt, etc.--but that doesn't do much to help the fact that without sleep, things do not go as well.

Without even really talking about it, Sweet Husband and I have assigned night time duties based on what side of the bed we sleep on.  We have a feeding side, and a diaper side.  It's actually not a bad trade-off--feeding takes longer, but you don't have to get out of bed to do it; diapering is quick, but requires actually getting up.  The other night, after having been on the feeding side for over a week, I ended up on the diaper side.  When Sweet Husband handed me the Kid after he had finished eating--in my mostly asleep stupor--I was so confused.  

I eventually figured out what it was I was supposed to do with him, changed his diaper, and put him back to bed.  But then, about two seconds after I laid back down myself, I was all of sudden wide awake and petrified that I had just put the Kid in his crib upside down.  (I.e. with his blanket over his head, instead of his feet.)  I hadn't, of course, but the jolt of thinking that I had was not conducive to further sleep.

The next day, I stopped at the library on my way home from work to pick up some books I had reserved.  The Kid was sweetly dozing on my shoulder as I walked in, and I was enjoying the sympathetic, "aww-how-cute" smiles of onlookers.  I forgot that I had reserved about a half a dozen thick cookbooks, but--seeing that my arms were going to be full--Nice Librarian at the check out desk kindly bagged my books up for me.  All good so far, yes?

But then I got to the parking lot.  I put the books down by the side of the car, and went to strap the Kid into his carseat.  Then, distracted by a five year old running amock in the parking lot and the thought that I needed to be very careful not to back into him, I got in my car and drove home.  Anyone see what step is missing?

Thankfully, someone nice took my books back inside the library where they were waiting for me when I came back to retrieve them.

And then there was this morning.  The Kiddo was in a beautiful mood--because he basically sleeps through all of his feedings and diaper changes, the little poophead--and I was enjoying making him smile as I got ready for work.  Daycare bag packed?  Check.  Coffee?  Check.  Shirt on right-side-out?  ....Hmm.

I didn't notice until after I dropped him off at daycare.  I can only hope his teachers didn't notice, or thought I was making some hip fashion statement.

I was trying to put a positive spin on my tiredness the other day--making lemons out of lemonade and all of that--when the thought popped into my head, "After all, I didn't get much sleep my first semester of law school, and I lived through that...."  

If you went to law school, you're laughing right now.  If you didn't, it's kind of like saying, "After all, I spent four months in a war zone, and I lived through that...."  (OK, now I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea.)

And on that note....goodnight!

(*A reference to the song "Insomniac Blues for Matthew" by the band Cadillac Sky, a country-bluesy band that I like very much.)